The worst part is that while I was so busy being angry at myself and worrying about everything going wrong in my life, I failed to see that I was slowly damaging something that actually meant so much to me. I was so focused on what I was losing in trading that I didn't pay enough attention to what I could lose in my personal life.

You didn't deserve to become the person I took my frustration out on. You didn't deserve broken promises, cold behavior, or moments when you probably wondered whether you still mattered to me. You shouldn't have had to deal with the consequences of things that had nothing to do with you.

That's something I failed at — and I'm genuinely sorry. You were never responsible for fixing me, carrying my frustration, or paying the price for my mistakes. I should have been working on myself instead of letting my struggles hurt you.

I know an apology can't give you back the moments when you needed me and I wasn't there. I'm not expecting you to forget everything just because I've finally found the words. But I want you to know that I see my mistakes — and I'm not putting any of the blame on you.